Ah, Thanksgiving. A time for us to reflect on all the things we are truly thankful for. This year I couldn’t help but think of all the things that football has given us while asking for so very little in return. Such as:

1. Giving us the suffix “-wise” which can be attached to any word at any time for absolutely any reason. For example: “What are we going to do with all this turkey, leftoverwise?” or “I would love to go to Hawaii or Jamaica, vacationwise.” This may very well be the most versatile suffix in the English language - it’s like the Brian Westbrook of suffixes only it doesn’t get hurt as much.

2. Knowing that I will never have to feel self-conscious about my weight as long as Tony Siragusa is allowed on national television.

3. Being reminded that America is the land of second, third, and fourth chances as long as you’re young, athletic, employed by Jerry Jones, and have a cool nickname like Pacman.

4. Getting to use phrases such as “I like the way he picks a hole”, “that guy really gets good penetration”, and “ I really think we need another man in the box” in a public setting without feeling even a little awkward.

5. Giving us phrases such as “non-stop motor”, “shooting up the draft board”, and “sports hernia.”

6. FOX keeping the dream alive that maybe someday robots will play football.

7. Ed Hochuli making everyone else feel just a little bit better about their own job performance.

8. Rewriting the dictionary so that “probable”, “questionable”, and “doubtful” all mean the same thing (as edited by Bill Belichick and Mike Shanahan).

9. The yellow first down line. Seriously, could you even watch a game without that line anymore?

10. And for the 27th consecutive year, former Green Bay quarterback Lynn Dickey for giving us the greatest team motto of all time, “You can beat our Packers, but you can’t lick our Dickey.”

Let’s take a look at last week’s picks:

Time to Shine:

QB Sage Rosenfels, Houston: The 275 yards were good as was the touchdown, but the two picks put a damper on the whole day. Push.

RB Tampa Bay Bucs: Warrick Dunn turned out to be the back de jour for the Bucs last week and he came through with 90 yards and a score. Hit.

RB Jamal Lewis, Cleveland: 68 total yards and nothing else - sounds a lot like the Browns entire season so far. Miss.

WR Eddie Royal, Denver: The Denver offense picked a great week to drop that crapburger of a performance on everyone. Miss.

WR Marvin Harrison, Indy: If he stays upright on that last reception, it’s a whole different story. He didn’t so it isn’t. Miss.

Ride the Pine:

QB Kurt Warner, Arizona: Not his best performance of the year, but respectable none-the-less. Miss.

RB Brian Westbrook, Philadelphia: 35 total yards and the decision to throw on third and goal at the six inch line. Ouch. Hit.

RB Larry Johnson, Kansas City: Johnson only touched the ball nine times but he made the most of it with 105 total yards. Miss.

WR Marques Colston, New Orleans: One catch went for 70 yards and a score. Even if that was all he did, this would still be a miss.

WR Lee Evans, Buffalo: 110 yards means another miss.

Week 12 Totals: 2-7-1

Overall Totals: 52-55-5

On to this week’s picks:

Time to Shine:

QB Kerry Collins, Tennessee: They say a team can learn more from a loss than a win so it stands to reason that the Titans can only benefit from their first loss of the year. You can bet that they won’t want to lose their second on national television to the winless Lions. 220 yards a 2 scores for Collins this week.

RB Justin Fargas, Oakland: While the Raiders haven’t shut down McFadden yet, it’s clear that they still look at Fargas as their number one guy. Against a defense that looks like it has hit the wall in Kansas City, Fargas should get 80 yards and maybe even a rare offensive touchdown for Raider Nation.

RB Julius Jones, Seattle: The Seahawks are awful, the Cowboys have a good run defense, Jones was benched as recently as Sunday, and yet you may want to consider starting him. Revenge can be a big motivator, and sticking it to your old team on Thanksgiving is about as revengy as you can get. 80 total yards and a score for the former Cowboy.

WR Kevin Curtis, Philly: Of the five games Curtis has played this year, three have been respectable. The Cards don’t exactly have shut down corners and Donovan McNabb will come out with something to prove after last week’s mid-game benching. 75 yards and a touchdown this week for Curtis.

WR Devin Hester, Chcago: The Bears have replaced Hester on kick returns, but are trying to find more ways to get him the ball on offense. Against the stingy Viking run defense, the Wildcat formation may be seen again making Hester a multi-dimensional threat. 80 yards and a trip to the end zone for Hester this week.

Ride the Pine:

QB Drew Brees, New Orleans: I know there is no way in the world you are going to put Brees on your bench, but just know that his near perfect performance on Monday night will probably not be replicated. The Bucs are a whole different team at home and Brees is not quite as good on the road. If Tampa Bay can control the clock, it could mean rather pedestrian numbers from the Saints quarterback.

RB Clinton Portis, Washington: Portis is banged up, isn’t practicing and plays against one of the tougher defenses in the league. In their first go round he averaged a mere 3.7 yards per carry. There are many worse plays out there, but Portis will not carry your team this week.

RB Ladainian Tomlinson, San Diego: Here’s a crazy theory for you: Michael Turner’s new team is so thrilled with his contributions this year that they are bound and determined to make sure that he outperforms the star back from his old team. Tomlinson’s long season continues as the Falcon D shuts him down.

WR Calvin Johnson, Detroit: Even the Detroit Thanksgiving magic won’t be enough to move the Lion offense this week. Expect Johnson to run an out route straight to the turducken.

WR Larry Fitzgerald, Arizona: Larry hasn’t been himself since the bye week and going against the Eagles on the road (for some reason Arizona is terrible when they play in the Eastern Time Zone), Fitz may not play up to his usual high standards.

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